Monday, October 13, 2008
it's the first day of uni
only left 3 weeks of schooling......
i woke up once the alarm clock rang
as in really got up (no snoozing,k!) and brushed up
i had this very strange feeling
prolly due to the reason i'm graduating end of this year, and i'm gonna miss uni life
i'm not prepare yet for working. just not ready yet.
i'm not sure whether i'm able to handle more responsibilities
am i able to socialize/communicate with different society
am i be able to find my dream job
am i be able earn enough to cover what i've spent
there are so many questions i can think about myself
asking myself this and that
i can think of millions of excuses why i'm not ready
does this means i'm still a lil' girl in my own world?
doesnt know what's happening in the world?
doesnt feel thankful for what i've got?
doesnt feel lucky compare to others?
not ready to leave my comfort zone?
not ready to face challenges?
-.-
i'm so confused
i looked at my CV's & resume
all well written with skills, extra curricular, academic results etc
BUT with zero working experience
i sometimes think, do all these because i'm overly protected by family or am i too pampered or because of my background?
i'm not pointing finger at anyone
cause i know whenever i point a finger, i have 3 other fingers pointed back at me
since young, i've used to all teasing due to my surname
"YU" = ikan yu (shark)
that was ages ago (primary, i think), even form 4&5, they were other friends from diff school nicknamed me when they see me
all my actions & attitudes were seen & commented by everyone
wherever i went back home, ppl know me
all things i did in school, mum wouldn't know
cause my results were good, and mummy doesnt know how to communicate well in Malay nor English
so teachers cannot complain to mummy lo =P
friends said teachers & headmistress treated me diff
never smile & cocky during school
and i'm a "lala" prefect
dyed my hair during secondary schools
all these were history now!
i'm grown up =)
i've learnt lotsa things when i came here
first time cooking, laundry, doing groceries, washing & cleaning up, packing-unpacking, travelling, etc
just countless....
all i learnt to do alone and by myself
i'm am who i am
never complaint for what i've been through
life is about learning
^^
oh yea....
today, i've drank 2 big cup of Koko Black Ice chocolate
1 having there and 1 take away
and yesterday, i had dominos pizza & brownies as supper
cause i was so excited and wanna try the new online order!
i realized i'm craving for carb now!!!
help me please.....
gtg, having exam tmr... taz....
